Unmarketing

Oh dear. Yesterday I received a sales pitch via LinkedIn. It was sent to me by someone I met once for half an hour in the Starbucks at Paddington Station. It’s called ‘Win contracts and influence people?’ and I think it sucks so badly I wanted to share it with you as an example of how not to win contracts and influence people.

It starts, ‘Hi!’ Wow – an exclamation mark after the greeting. That’s so much more personal than, oh I don’t know…my name perhaps?

It goes on:

‘I hope you are very well.

We are introducing our new programme for 2012 and we are offering 3 of these workshops to companies we have a special relationship with at a reduced, introductory rate. Of course, I thought of you and, particularly, the people in your business.’

Awwww thanks, that’s so sincere.

There follows another 500 words of guff before building to the ‘offer’. Normally this workshop would cost £8,000 plus VAT and venue hire, for me and up to 8 colleagues. I can have it for just £6,900. Lucky me! (Did you see what I did there with the exclamation mark – maybe I was too hasty earlier?).

I wish I was making this up. #marketing #fail