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What Brings You Joy?

As questions go – at first glance this seems an unusual one to ask people at work, at least it does to me. We often refrain from linking such expressive language to the person in the workplace, for example it might be alright to talk about how much you love:

  • Your job
  • This latest app
  • Those shoes

But dare to express love for another person, and you can imagine that the next steps of that conversation will involve a stern talking to from HR. Maybe the L word is a bridge too far for work, so for the time being I will retreat to the comparatively safer territory of joy.

What Brings You Joy?

I’ve wanted to ask this question of people more and more lately, and occasionally I’ve managed to ask it out loud, though it’s usually followed immediately by something more tepid like ‘You know, what do you like to do?’ No sooner have I uttered the question than I’m withdrawing to what I perceive to be a safer (more boring?) place. A few days ago I was facilitating a group of people gathered from across the world, and my brief was simple. Help this group get to know each other better and encourage them to work in teams. In under two hours. I had initially thought we might play ‘What’s My Thing?’ but as I stood with this group of enthusiastic people, I decided to go a little further.

Draw for the Bin

After an initial exploration of drawing for the bin, instead of playing What’s My Thing? I invited the group to explore ‘What Brings You Joy?’ I did not seek to explain the question any further. In small groups, people talked about the question, illustrated the question and then told stories about their responses to the question.

This flipagram slideshow is a very brief look at what the group cocreated. I hope it conveys a hint of the energy, enthusiasm and yes, the joy in the room. After the session the group decided to mount all the pictures at their global HQ and send copies out to whoever in the group wanted them.

I’m glad I got past my own reluctance about using the word joy in a work context as it’s very often these little tweaks that make the big differences. What is it you really want to ask people and how might you frame it in a way that elicits a more engaged, useful and human response?

 

Keep It Simple

I doubt myself sometimes, and I know from experience that you do too. It’s OK, no one is listening – this is just between you and me. My own doubt is partly driven by the fact that I believe so many of the things we need to do to make work better are so utterly simple, that when I think them, let alone propose them, they, and therefore me, seem somehow ridiculous.

I believe we work better together. Some of the things that help us do this are:

  • Giving, building and having trust
  • Noticing ourselves
  • Noticing one another
  • Getting to know ourselves better
  • Getting to know each other better
  • Keeping things simple wherever possible
  • Accepting that small things can and do make big differences
  • Having open access to information, which means we can cocreate power with each other, not exercise power over one another
  • Recognising that creativity is not binary. You don’t just switch it on, you adjust the dials and tease it out. Don’t fear it, play with it, iterate.
  • Having meaningful conversations
  • Taking breaks
  • Finding out what brings joy to one another, and then – try to cocreate the conditions to make that happen
  • Agreeing that respect is not a zero sum game. I want to lift you at the same time as you lift me, or put another way, my success is not dependent on putting you down.
  • Being coactive – that is to say doing things with, for and by each other, not to each other
  • Smiling
  • Practicing – our work is our art

That’s enough for now. Oh, and one more thing. Don’t forget to doubt yourself from time to time:

Nervous

Footnote #1

Thanks Sharon, Julia, Meg, Gareth, John and Richard for a crescendo of compelling conversation yesterday. I’ve had this post in draft for months and you all helped contribute and free it up.

Footnote #2

For every pack of Stop Doing Dumb Things ordered in December I’m making a small donation to Shelter, the housing and homelessness charity. If you’ve been meaning to order some cards for yourself or as a gift to others, now might be a good time? Thanks for your support.

100 Happy Days – An Exploration of Happiness

A friend recently shared a link to the 100 Happy Days website. I curiously clicked on through and learned that 100 Happy Days is simply a voluntary challenge to share a photo every day for (you guessed it) 100 days. The photo has to connect with something that made you feel happy on that day. Simple enough – though the website says that 71% of people who embark on this journey don’t make it to the finish. I’ve been looking for a couple of new, regular habits to explore – so I signed up.

For the record, I have mixed feelings about happiness. I often find it occurs unexpectedly, and that chasing it is a bit like the just out of reach impossibility of trying to recapture that first heroin high, probably. I’ve not tried heroin so I can’t be sure about that, but I do know that like a lot of people – I’m fond of being grumpy from time to time too. Will I be able to cope with 100 Happy Days? According to the website, people successfully completing the challenge claimed to:

– Start noticing what makes them happy every day;
– Be in a better mood every day;
– Start receiving more compliments from other people;
– Realize how lucky they are to have the life they have;
– Become more optimistic;
– Fall in love during the challenge.

What’s not to like about that lot?

I’ve just completed day thirteen of this experiment and when I started, I thought I’d wait for some of that grumpiness I mentioned earlier to hit me before sharing my initial thoughts. Having experienced a wobble on my happiness perch during Day Thirteen, what am I noticing so far?

  • Happiness is indeed elusive, and when found, best left to purr quietly in the background. Don’t make a fuss or it’s likely to move on again.
  • Experiences trump things.
  • Family and friends – when they’re happy, you are more likely to be too.
  • Belgian Beer is lovely, but on a Monday night, maybe not so much.

When I started this experiment I did so unsure that I would even make it this far. Day Fourteen is here and so am I. If any of the pictures intrigue you enough for you to want to know more – let me know. And if you are looking for something little to do for the next 100 days, maybe you’d like to try this too?

 

Update: I successfully completed the 100HappyDays experiment.