Don’t Get Over It – Grow From It

I don’t think we are meant to get over loss, I think we are meant to grow from it.

Mother’s Day is coming this weekend, at least it is in the USA. Heather Bussing marked it by posting this on Facebook:

For all of you whose mothers died, or who are estranged for really good reasons, or who don’t know your mother because of adoption, or who just have mixed feelings about someone who has both helped you and wounded you, I am sending you love. You are not alone.

What a lovely note, thanks Heather. The note took my mind straight to this blog post about Mum. Heather read the post then dropped me a message within which was written:

I don’t think you ever get over it. I don’t think you should.

I agree.

I lost my keys last week which were on a lovely key ring Keira made for me. I’m disappointed and I’ll get over it. The death of a loved one shifts us harshly into a different place in life. A place from which I know we can continue to grow from. I don’t want to get over that, I choose to celebrate it.

Come As You Are

Aside from being a top tune by Nirvana, Come As You Are for most people means no need to prepare, just turn up. This kind of spontaenous approach works well for parties, maybe less so at work.

A while back I was asked to deliver a three hour session on collaboration, and I agreed in principle. I followed up my agreement with a note:

Before I get stuck in and fully commit to this – can you confirm what my remuneration will be for the design and delivery of this piece of work please? I anticipate this taking two days overall – one to design, one to deliver.

We weren’t able to proceed because the budget on offer was half of our previously agreed one day rate, for what I thought was two days work. It wasn’t so much the fact that I felt the fee was too small, although it was, what surprised me more was the attitude towards preparation time. The company went on to explain:

The idea was for you to come along and provoke their thinking rather than teach or train them anything, as all the content will be covered off by A.N.Other during the main sessions. This session is an added bonus we have thrown in for the client so I’d like to think you could come along and “recycle” something you already have prepared. I appreciate this might not have been made clear to you, so would understand if you chose to decline the piece of work, but we would like you to do it…

I subsequently called to discuss things – just to make sure everyone was clear on how this was supposed to work, or rather, not work. During the conversation I looked for some clarification, asking, ‘Are you really OK with me turning up and working with your client having done no research and preparation?’ It turns out that yes, they were OK with it, at least to the extent that they saw no need to pay for my preparation time. ‘We thought you’d just rock up and give a talk’, was how it was positioned in a subsequent conversation.

We left it there and parted on good terms. No hard feelings but for me to accept this proposal would have been to seriously devalue my own worth and more importantly, that of the team I would have been let loose on.

Preparation Matters

Whether you’re employed or self employed, an integral part of work is the preparation that you invest beforehand. You wouldn’t expect a top flight sports person to turn up for a race, finish in last place and then say, ‘I did no training for this event whatsoever and yet somehow, I finished last. How did that happen?’ in the post race interview. Likewise when you’re working with colleagues you can usually tell if they’re prepared or not – and I may be wrong, but I expect you make judgements on their suitability for future work based partly on their preparedness or lack of it?

We spend time in preparation, in development, so that the delivery is as good as it can be. So why are people sometimes so reluctant to see past that burst of face to face time, and beyond to the hard graft that made the real work, work?

Everyone has a budget, everyone has to make a call on what good value looks like eventually, but I smiled when my friend Gary Franklin shared this on Facebook recently.

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Social Media – The Proper Stuff?

After I posted my blog from a train this morning, Tim Kitchin got in touch and said:

Look forward to seeing the flow of the day…some very interesting developments ahead in workforce 2.0. I hope the conference gets into some of the ‘proper’ stuff…

I asked him – what do you mean by ‘proper stuff’? If and when I hear back from Tim I will update this post with his response. In the meantime – here are a handful of early observations I’m sensing about themes, feelings etc.

Co-creation and Involvement Matter

Yay – and…? How? That’s still not clear enough for me. I think there are lots of simple ways to push further on this front, most of them conversational.

Complete Control is a Total Illusion

I’ve bastardised this feeling so that a) I get a Clash reference in and b) it reminds me of my 2013 tour t shirt. And seriously – there is a rising awareness that this social stuff is going on regardless of your policy.

Total Illusion eh?

I’m enjoying following the Twitter feed of Grumpy Lecturer, who has pushed back on the control issue with this:

Is the interest in social media in workplace akin to Bentham’s Panopticon as employers paranoia increases?

I googled Panopticon and I suggest you do the same – I think we need to be mindful not to rebuild work in this scary shape.

Leadership

This has to mean more than where we sit on an org chart. There are leaders everywhere – acknowledge them regardless of their hierarchical position.

Social Hierarchy

Reward

I think how people are rewarded is a vital part of how an organisation functions or dysfunctions. Mot people are not paid to collaborate – indeed many are paid to compete with colleagues instead. For me – this is currently missing from the conversation.

How About You

What do you think is missing – are we yet talking about the ‘Proper Stuff”?