Friday Fury – Lord Voldemort

Here in the UK we get eight public holidays every year. Now I don’t know about you but I look forward to these holidays. They are a chance to recharge, to meet up with friends, spend relaxing time with family. Apart from the folks who have to work on public holidays to keep essential services running (sincere thanks to you), these holidays are ours to spend how we choose.

I also like the fact that they fall on certain days, the fact that a lot of people will be taking time off on a certain determined day lends a kind of mega-community feel to the public holiday. Public holidays are a part of our social fabric and I believe people return to work from them feeling generally better about themselves, and in a good frame of mind to do good work.

Which is why I’m delighted that I don’t work for the Centre for Economics and Business Research (CEBR). This week the CEBR published a piece of total crap suggesting that UK public holidays ‘cost the economy £2.3 billion’ and in addition they ask ‘Do we really need so many?’ The article is littered with numbers and percentages and as you read through it you feel the deathly hand of the economist on your shoulder. It reminds me of Harry Potter and co as they struggle to fend off the soul sucking misery of Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

I stuck a link to this article on our Facebook page yesterday and Marco Faimali got in touch saying, ‘Everything seems to be about costs to ‘the economy’. Whatever happened to the costs to society or gross national happiness?’ Chris followed up with the excellent ‘As Bobby Kennedy said “GDP measures everything except what makes life worthwhile”.

Right at the death, the CEBR says, ‘This is more a social than an economic judgement. Money is not the only thing and a healthy lifestyle needs time off to reflect and relax.’ But by then it is too late. All that is left of the reader is a dry husk, a lost soul ready to be blown away on the breeze. Oscar Wilde’s quote ‘The cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing’ is often turned into a joke about economists. It’s a crap joke and I ain’t laughing. Now get back to work willya, GDP just dropped another millionth of a percent.

Strategic Planning – A Song for Flora

I spotted the very wonderful @FloraMarriott on Twitter t’other day. She wrote ‘My brain is aching, I got strategy on my mind’ and Flora wondered if she had inadvertently stumbled upon the title of a song. Turns out she had. Who’da thunk it.

My brain is aching
I got strategy on my mind
My brain is aching
I got strategy on my mind
You’re showing me facts and figures
Feels like I’m going blind

I can’t see into the future
Could all be a waste of time
I can’t see into the future
Could all be a waste of time
You got me looking ten years down the road
Maybe only livin’ eight or nine

My brain is aching
I got strategy on my mind
My brain is aching
I got strategy on my mind
You’re showing me facts and figures
Feels like I’m going blind

Buzzword Bingo – New Game!

A guy walked past me on my street today yakking on his mobile phone. As our paths crossed, I had a gloriously brief insight to his conversation. Here’s exactly what I heard:

“I’ve given you a six question framework for a value proposition”

I don’t know about you but I’m not sure I understand a word of that. Imagine being the person on the other end of the phone…do you agree, ask questions, or more likely, go silent and let the guy think your silence means agreement. Imagine being the customer of someone who speaks with such a lack of clarity? I can’t see many people going back for more of that.

Clarity is an important part of engagement. I’m going to keep my plain language radar tuned for more of these weird utterances. Meantime if you hear a good one, please drop me a line and we’ll share it.

Have a value proposition packed day!