Tomorrow What Goes Around will be one year old. Has it really been a year? Yes it has. September the first is our birthday. We’ll come back to the celebrations later. For now, I want to share three things that I’ve focussed on and worked at to help What Goes Around survive and thrive this past year. Three among the many that I’ve practiced in the last twelve months. And I would really appreciate it if you could do the same.
Tell us three things you’ve practised to help you survive and thrive. I’m publishing this note on a number of networks. I’ll collate all the replies, and share them in a little ebook. Everything will be included, and of course, everyone gets a namecheck, a weblink, whatever works best for you. Here goes:
Number One – The Network
The folk I know, and have learnt to know, and am learning to know fascinate me. I was going to write “My Network” as the title, but it isn’t. It’s ours. A network is something to contribute to, and take from, and most importantly, to look after for you, and everyone in it. Connecting interesting and useful people purposefully. Joe Strummer said “Without People, You’re Nothing”. He was right. Look after the network, love the network.
Number Two – Future Focus
What’s done is done. Folk make decisions that don’t always go your way, or maybe they don’t even make decisions. And once they do make decisions, they rarely change their minds. So you can invest a huge amount of time wondering why not. Or you can look ahead to what next. I try and learn from what has happened in order to make better decisions next time. And I’m getting much better at not beating myself up about it.
Number Three – Be Positive
Shit happens. I’ve written before about losing my Mum just before I turned 19. Yes this made me angry, yes this made me sad. And sometimes it still does. Most of all though it made me even more proud to be my Mother’s Son, and it still does. Approaching people and opportunities with genuine interest is motivating. I believe that being overwhelmingly (and yet not permanently) positive helps to make good things happen.
So there you have it. Three things among the many I’ve practiced in the last twelve months. It’s our birthday tomorrow, maybe we’ll have cake. Now, how was it for you?
Photo c/o Vandy Massey
I like your three points very much, Doug. To add three more, I’d echo the Pixley Formula (named after Charles Pixley who put on a sandwich board and advertized himself till he landed a job):
1. believe in yourself
2. improve yourself
3. put yourself out there
I blogged about this here:
http://learningvoyager.blogspot.com/2009/11/put-yourself-out-there.html
Terry
Wow Terry – that’s quite a list. Thanks to you and Charles. In his honour I had tuna mayo with gherkins at lunch in my sandwich. I now realise I should have eaten it walking up and down the high street believing, improving, and being out there. Thanks so much.
Doug
Here’s a nice list from Hilary Jeanes:
“Great post, Doug.
My 3 tips are:
– know what your strengths are and find ways to play to them. Work will be much more fun as a result.
– identify what causes you stress and how to alleviate it. You’ll be in a better place to cope with whatever life throws your way.
– what can you gain from your current situation? There is always something you can do or learn – and add to your skills for your next career move.
There’s more here http://purplelineconsulting.co.uk/newsletter/thriving-in-todays-workplace.html.
Hilary”
…and a cracker from Craig:
“Great to see you back, Doug! Who else can so artfully weave the wisdom of Joe Strummer into the engagement fabric?
First, Happy Birthday to What Goes Around. Time is flying.
Second, your post inspired a bridging tidbit, sticking with the musician guru theme …it’s a little known fact that Steven Stills collaborated with Mick and the Boys for a few tunes. To pull from one:
Don’t be angry, don’t be sad.
Don’t sit cryin over good times you’ve had.
Cuz you can’t always get what you want,
But if you try some time-you’ll get what you need.
But then they got greedy and decided to split the lyrical contributions, and the revenues. The budding partnership fell by the wayside.
Jagger said a long, loooonnnng time ago “I’d rather be dead than to be playing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m 45.”
oops.
For those of us who can remember that far back, what was your first serious adult aspiration? Not the childhood “I want to be an astronaut” dream, but your first real dream of what you wanted to be now that you were grown up.
Did you achieve it? Why / why not? “Failure” is no sweat-sometimes the sights just need to be re-calibrated. Mine did, more than once!
My three:
1. I reinvented myself, did a gut-check of my vision, direction, short-term goals, my ‘value proposition’ to the market and how well I was / wasn’t equipped. Actually, this is still in process.
2. I absolutely deemphasized the criticality of money and position in our lives. There are other things more important, as long as there’s enough to go around. More important things like…
3. Should be #1. I decided to fiercely protect MY time to spend with the grand kids, to hide out at the fishin hole for some soul searching as needed, and to play music.
Re-assess on a regular basis (Me, Inc AND businesses), set your priorities, act on them. Surviving and thriving will follow.
What a FUN topic, Doug!”
Hi Doug & Happy 1st Birthday!
You are so right – time really does fly by doesn’t it?
I loved your 3…here are 3 from me
1. THE WORLD REALLY IS GETTING SMALLER
As you know I flew off to Australia at the beginning of the year. As well as being incredibly excited about the opportunity I was also a little scared, and all too aware that I was leaving behind my hubby, family, friends, and disappearing to the other side of the planet. I’ve learned that its only 24 hours away and that we are so lucky today to be able to stay connected via technology – email, social networks and skype. So the world really is getting smaller…
2. IT’S ALL ABOUT LEADERSHIP
Quite simply the best leaders ‘get stuff done with and through their people’. There are so many books, models and articles blah blah, about good leadership but when all is said and done, it doesnt have to be any more complicated than this. Oh and good leadership is the foundation for business success. I think I knew this already but the last year has re-enforced this belief. Again there is so much written today about engagement and the drivers of engagement… It’s all about good leadership!
3. MAKING A DIFFERENCE
One of my key motivations is the need to make a difference…The last year has taught me this over and over again. And it’s not just me (hello?)…people the world over have a deep need to make a contribution, feel valued and recognised for their talents. There is nothing so rewarding than enabling people to make a difference.
Hope these help Doug & thanks for the opportunity to think this through and focus on just 3!
Best
Dorothy
Hey Dorothy how great to hear from you. You’re on an amazing journey and your three things show it. Great stuff thanks so much.
I’ve had an amazing year of change. The catalyst for this was, initially, my post graduate study in strategic leadership, however since embarking upon this journey of self-discovery and development, I have found that it has now developed a life of its own and, even after my formal studies have drawn to a close, I am continuing to search out new ideas for improving what I do and how I do it. The What Goes Around blog is one of the sources of motivation and inspiration that I draw on. So, “Happy Birthday” and best wishes for the forthcoming year; may you go from strength to strength!
To draw just three things from the last 12-months, I would have to say:
1. Re-evaluated what motivates me, what makes me tick and what I want to do with my life – in other words, what makes me get out of bed to do a day’s work. Amongst other things, this led me to volunteer to lead health walks for a local mental health charity and to reassess my career path. These two strands coincided last autumn when I landed a new job working for a County Council doing something that I am passionate about – providing access to the countryside.
2. I have reflected deeply on my relationships: with my wife, my family, friends, colleagues and, most importantly, with myself. I feel that I now have a much greater understanding of what I value in my relationships and this has enabled me to develop much stronger bonds with those around me.
3. Team building. Coming into a new leadership role I have developed the identity and purpose of the team that I am now managing. But not content at stopping there, I’m now working to foster a team identity and spirit between the (previously) disparate group of managers of the area teams that deliver our work across the county, and with whom I need to work closely if we are to deliver our shared objectives. By pulling together in mutual co-operation, as one of the team succinctly put it, “Together Everyone Achieves More”.
Hi Nigel, I’ve known you well for years and your evolution and progress is very motivating. Thanks for sharing such a powerful three.
Well only three, eh? Ok well I may bend the rules a little and sound a little cliched but hey if it works….
My first relates to surviving and comes from a Dale Carnegie principle which is when faced with adversity “accept the worst” that could happen and then look to improve upon it. Linked with this was something my old Headmaster used to say which was “if you can’t write it down, you don’t understand it”. Both of these help reduce stress and stop all the “what if”‘s and “maybe”‘s buzzing around you head and let you move on
In terms of thriving, my second comes from a slogan on a “No Fear” T-shirt I had – it said “face your fears, live your dreams”. It has taken me while to live this and some might say I still fall short, but it has opened so many possibilities that I would pass it on to anyone.
My third is how to live your life best and has two parts that help you not waste energy on useless activities. A big part is the maxim my father used to have on his wall which was “May God grant me the courage to change what I can, the humility to accept what I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference”. In addition I have formulate the saying that “truth is a function of time” ie what was true yesterday may not be true today, and what is true today may not be true tomorrow; that does not mean it was not true when it was true. The value of this is not to waste time working out who lied and when, as often no one did. It also encouragesyou to retest assumptions and support which can change without you noticing.
Not sure if that is what you were after, but there are some thoughts anyway.
Hello Ian – how kind of you to pop by and give such thoughtful and personal insights. Fantastic stuff, and absolutely exactly what I’d hoped for. Except better. Cheers!
1. Have a three word theme for each year has been great for focus and thrive-alive in 2010. My 3 words for 2010 are engage – mobilize – produce. I will write a new theme in December for 2011. Somehow I think engage will remain in the list. As I look at it know it does sound a bit like the start of a rugby scrum!
2. I thinking experiencing the strong connections around the globe with so many people on so many channels from Twitter and Ning to In Person Conferences. Makes it damn impossible to feel alone and disconnected.
3. Mindful moments make me feel alive and I would like to experience and I plan to experience more mindful moments. Really showing up to the time I am in with the people who are there.
Carry on caring Doug. You do such fine work. By the way, it looks like I might be coming to the UK in June 2011 for some work and holiday. I hope to get some confirmations in the next couple of weeks and I look forward to engaging with the UK!
Splendid. Great to hear from you David, and I particularly enjoyed reading your thoughts about mindful moments. Powerful and engaging experiences indeed. Thanks for your kind words and I look forward to hearing more about your June 2011 plans – sounds exciting!
Of course, if I could write better comments that will help comment readers thrive with what I say. My apologies for the blatant errors in the previous comment…my heart was in the right place but my mindfulness of the writing was wonky.
Wow Doug – what a feat! First of all Congrats and Happy Birthday to “What Goes Around”!
These past 12 months have tested many of us in ways we could not imagine.
As for surviving, well it takes a whole lot of patience and faith to keep walking through the dark clouds of ambiguity. An attitude that’s helped me navigate the ups and downs of this past year has been to openly welcome and accept any experience coming my way (both good and bad) as it is there for a reason, to teach me something about myself that I need to learn and master to be able to move on.
As for thriving, for me what really keeps me going is my network (both online and offline), tapping into their collective insights and steering clear of the mood- hoovers and energy-drainers. Consciously making the choice to seek out positivity over negativity. Re-looking at my priorities in life and putting my family, friends and loved ones first.
I’ve also learned that you really need to honour your values and work in alignment with them and have the courage to voice them at work and in life; for truly you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole (not unless you damage it!).
Cheers,
Shereen
Hey Shereen, it’s so lovely to hear from you 🙂 More great stuff coming our way courtesy of your wonderful self. Learning, and making choices, and being yourself – it’s all good. Thanks too for the good wishes hope to hear from you again soon.