As some of you know, occasionally news reaches us of customer service tales so woeful we feel obliged to write a song about it. Previously we scribbled a tune for Darren about his shocking BT broadband experience. The BT customer service people appreciated the chance to get involved and help out. Shame their CEO didn’t feel quite the same way. Contrast this with a problem another friend had with Barclaycard. When we put them to the sword, I mean wrote a little song about them, they entered into the spirit of things. We had some friendly exchanges and they fixed the customer problem quickly.
Fast forward to the end of January 2011 and a new problem presents itself. Over on our LinkedIn group, David Shanks has been experiencing poor service and bad management at the hands of Johnson’s Dry Cleaners. In frustration he shared his tale which lead to all kinds of song suggestions plus another sorry Johnson’s tale courtesy of Gary Franklin. We couldn’t resist.
This one is for David, for Gary, and Johnson’s too, if they are listening?
Lyrics:
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries
Dave took his trousers in for readjustment
A service Johnsons offers should be fine
But on return he swears he couldn’t see the difference
And he knows his eyes are fine, not going blind
He coughed up the dough for a second time
He’s easy going didn’t wanna cause a fuss
Then turns out the sales director had told the local branch
Don’t give ‘em back until he pays, he’d had enough
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries
His trouser legs ain’t adjustable
And his mood is now combustible
I know another who has suffered a similar fate
Suits muddled, items lost the list it grows
They even put a permanent crease in the wrong place
Which way round go Gary’s trousers no one knows
So Johnsons if you’re there please get in touch
We’re sure you didn’t mean to do us wrong
All we want is for our garments to be right size and shape
And maybe then we’ll stop singing our song
We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
Our trouser legs are now all the wrong size
We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to our cries
Yeeeee haaaaa – a hot diggety spicey fried beans blazing saddle of a ditty – enough to make David and Gary say no more to creases and turn ups, get on those denims and head off into the sunset.
Well done Doug
Hello David – your comment really brought a smile to my face. More than can currently be said for David and Gary who still ain’t heard back from the rootinest tootinest dry cleaning cowboys. Dagnabbit!