Mummy HR

mummy by publicinsomniac
mummy by publicinsomniac

We’re continuing our series of HR ghosts and ghouls and tonight it’s the turn of the mummy. When I think of mummies I think of them in the classic horror pose, arms oustretched, shambling along bound in tape and bandages. And it’s the tape which binds these soulless creatures that I want to focus on. The bureaucratic tape which binds organisations and lashes them to the stumbling shambling gait of the mummy.

I enjoyed reading a great conversation started by Ben Eubanks over at UpstartHR recently all about whether companies should have a working through lunch policy. Seriously, lunch policy. I recommend you pop over and read the whole piece, to get you started here’s a snippet provided by Steve Browne:

My question is “Why is the HR person looking to add yet another policy?”

If the behavior isn’t working, or if the employee isn’t doing work, then just TALK TO THEM !!

Sorry to yell, but it blows me away that HR has fallen into such a deep hole when it comes to writing policies. We forget that there are many employees who work for us and not just a few. Most policies are written because of the behavior of a few folks.

And what about dress code policy? I was talking about this with a couple of HR practitioners just recently and one of them said “dress code policy is a great way of showing folks that you don’t trust them with even the most basic things”. Unnecessary bureaucracy and more tape round the mummy. I went to agree and before I could do so – the third member of our conversation violently disagreed. “You have to tell people what to wear or they will just wear what they like”. All I could manage was a head slap of disdain. I slapped my own head, not theirs.

Sometimes my work involves carrying out stakeholder engagement audits. As part of these audit my associates and I talk with lots of staff, and the stories they tell us about unnecessary policies written and implemented to “legislate” against things that haven’t happened and in all likelihood won’t, are eye boggling. I can’t go into detail but things like no alcohol and no toasters (yup – no toasters) are often used to bind the policy mummy even tighter. The tighter the policy, the greater the lack of trust, and this lack of trust is a root cause of people feeling disengaged from their employer. It is damaging and unnecessary.

You may think, I can run faster than the mummy, it’ll never catch me. And you forget – the mummy is undead. It will shamble on until you can run no more and then, and only then will it wrap you in its lunch/dress code/alcohol/toaster bandages. And you will suffocate.

Despite my punk roots I’m not advocating anarchy, and I appreciate the requirement for policy. But surely policy should be stuff that enables work, makes things happen, not stuff that binds and chokes the life from the company?

I’d love to hear from you if you have ever seen mummy HR stumbling along your corridors binding folk with its policy bandages.

photo c/o publicinsomniac

HR Cupcakes

My current (not currant!) client is having a fund raising bake sale tomorrow. At the end of last week I overheard a couple of the HR peeps talking. They were worried they may be short of cakes.

Earlier this weekend I spotted a fantastic batch of baking by Katie, aka @HRHopeful. Katie inspired me to spend this Sunday doing something I haven’t done for years. I’m reliably informed that these taste pretty good. I hope they help my client hit their fund raising target tomorrow.

Even consultants can be nice guys…sometimes.

Update: In case you are interested, there are plenty more hrcupcakes out there. This montage was kindly put together by @MJCarty over at XpertHR. Enjoy.

Update: Monday morning. I’m on the train into London. The phone rings. It’s Carole – is she calling to say thanks for the miniature home made valentine?

Home Made Valentine Cards
Miniature Home Made Valentine Cards. Lots of patience - lots of rhinestones.

Nope. Carole is calling me to tell me the cakes I made are sitting in their box in the hallway, d’oh! A slap to the forehead moment. Fortunately I’m only one stop down the line so I make a snap decision to get off the train – dash back home and grab the cakes. I’m just about to leave for London….again. Wonder what I’ve forgotten this time?

Happy Valentine.

Zombie HR

Soccer Mom Zombie
Soccer Mom Zombie

Photo c/o juco

It’s weird. As the HR blogosphere expands with a rush of intelligence, creativity and sensitivity provided by Alison Chisnell and Onatrainagain, among many others, so the more established online HR press seems to be…zombifying. A few days ago @TheHRD drew my attention to this unimaginitive offering on the People Management site about anagrams in HR. This kind of salami wore junk (you figure it out) does nothing to enhance the journo reputation of HR in the online world. I let it pass. Just a blip.

Earlier this week on the HR Magazine website I read about Vance Kearney saying we should ban words like cuts and recession, because they are boring and negative. I’m all for optimism but suggesting we ban words because we don’t like what they mean? I’m not in favour of banning things, of trying to control things by stamping them out. There are better ways to encourage people towards a more purposeful motivating way of working, and banning stuff isn’t one of them. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la laaa probably works better.

The next day delivers more pearls of wisdom. This time, under the headline “There’s only one thing worse than an idiot and that’s an engaged and motivated idiot” Kearney knocks engagement, saying it needs more rigour. I don’t agree. For me encouraging a state of engagement is about less rigour not more. Next up we’re recommended to hire people with the biggest brains we can find (I wish he had said so we can feast on them – but he didn’t). There’s more. Apparently, “The world of work has changed. But people still want the same things, they want fascinating work, intelligent colleagues and to play on a team. But the context has changed.” How? No explanation is offered. And then I read evidence of the existence of zombie HR. Kearney goes on to state, “I like employees to be engaged and motivated. I like them to be dead and not dead. I don’t think anyone’s ever tested it.” What!!?? Dead and not dead? True zombie HR! I tweeted about this earlier and @FlipChartFT suggested that the benefit of dead, or zombie employees, may be that they don’t qualify for minimum wage. That may well be the case but honestly, I have no idea what Vance Kearney is on about. Poor reporting at best. See me after school.

I hope this recent slip into zombie HR is short lived. Have you seen any other zombies shuffling about lately?

Neeeeed fresh braaaaiiinnnss!