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Good leaders have a habit of making you feel like you are the most important thing in their lives at that moment.
The next time you meet folk and you think they might want to come to respect and appreciate you, please stop playing with your crackberry. You are capable of focussing your attention, right?
Being present creates presence. How will you be remembered for yours?
photo c/o George Rex
Picture the scene: You’ve had an idea. It feels good. You take the idea to your boss and he says, ‘This is good, but….’ And proceeds to tell you a bunch of reasons why your idea is in fact, not good at all. We’ve all been there, and experienced that sinking feeling. The word but, and the consequences of but are disengaging.
Why is this on my mind?
Last week I spent an invigorating Friday afternoon coming up with a storm of creative ideas with Liam Barrington-Bush, aka @hackofalltrades. It was a little like being in a two piece band – one idea riffed to another. In these early stages everything goes into the pot and we’ll spend a few days tweaking notes here, adding a rest there. Refining and finessing the tune. Liam and I are alike enough that we can resonate, and unlike enough that we can still find room for dissonance and the occasional bum note in our thinking. It’s great fun.
At one point Liam stopped me. ‘Doug, you just swapped a but for an and, and you’ve done that several times today.’ We chatted about the more expansive, invitational nature of the and versus the but and concluded that tough though it is, and beats but.
The next time someone comes to you for guidance, don’t close them down with a but, open the possibilities with an and. It’s much more engaging, much more fun, much more useful.
Here is our second post in the Heroes series. This one is written by Richard Baker. Richard is an experienced and innovative senior leader with a passion for employee engagement and customer service. With over 17 years strategic and tactical management experience, he currently heads up employee engagement and internal comms for a UK rail company. He’s also an expert advisor to the Goverment sponsored Employee Engagement Taskforce ‘E4S’.
You can engage with Richard via Twitter, LinkedIn and his blog. Take it away Mr Baker:
‘My Heroes. That’s a tough one.
When Doug first asked me if I’d be interested in guest blogging for him I said yes (I say yes quite often, and then live to regret it). He wanted some people to blog about who their heroes are and, on the face of it, you’d think that was quite simple.
However admiring someone, or an aspect of someone, is quite different to publicly announcing that someone is your hero isn’t it? I admire lots of people for the challenges they have overcome, or their fantastic achievements. These people tend to be people I know, I work with or I am lucky enough to call a friend or family.
I’m in my late thirties now and I’d like to think I’ve experienced more than most people my age (it’s that ‘yes’ thing again). As a result, I’ve learned a lot about people, their motivation and what inspires them. By the same token, I’ve learned a lot about myself; what I excel at and what my limitations are. The same goes for the heroes I had in younger life. As I’ve become less naive I’ve realised that rarely are our heroes all they promise to be.
That’s the problem with heroes isn’t it – they rarely live up to expectations. Our heroes today are protected by PR gurus, spin doctors and advisors whose job it is to protect their image, their ‘brand’. Not particularly authentic is it?
And so, instead of looking elsewhere for inspiration, I’ve turned to myself.
I tweeted a few months ago something along the lines of ‘instead of looking to others to inspire you, be the person who you aspire to be like’. Turns out Gandhi had already said a similar thing much more succinctly in ‘You must be the change you want to see in the world.’
Imagine what a world this would be if we all did what Gandhi said.
Our heroes are often thought of as great leaders. Think of a hero you have – would you follow them? Would other people? Do other people?
What then defines a great leader? What do we need to be, to be the people we aspire to be like?
Lau Tsu lived in the 6th Century BC. He was a philosopher in ancient China and wrote Tao Te Ching, often called simply Laozi after its reputed author. It describes the Dao (or Tao) as the mystical source and ideal of all existence: it is unseen, but not transcendent, immensely powerful yet supremely humble, being the root of all things.
Accordingly, we (humans) have no special place within the Dao, being just one of its many manifestations. People have desires and free will (and thus are able to alter their own nature). Many act “unnaturally”, upsetting the natural balance of the Dao. The Daodejing intends to lead students to a “return” to their natural state, in harmony with Dao.
Laozi encouraged a change in approach, or return to “nature”, rather than action. He wrote that technology may bring about a false sense of progress (and this in the 6th Century BC!) The answer provided by Laozi is not the rejection of technology, but instead seeking the calm state of wu wei, free from desires.
One of Lau Tsu’s most famous quotes is also a great recipe for a leader. It contrasts with our western view of what leadership is; great ‘leaders’ often have great egos to match! The alternative, and perhaps more enlightened view of a leader is as follows; “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worse when they despise him. But of a good leader who talks little when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves.”
If you’re looking for a hero to follow, that’s a good place to start.’
Photo c/o Tom@HK