Carole and I argue, sometimes they’re real humdingers too. As we’ve been reflecting on what’s helped us survive and thrive nigh on twenty years of marriage (big day next week), we agree that the arguments are a key part of what makes our love strong, so long as we operate on a basis of open respectful disagreement. Over the years I’ve met couples who are proud of the fact that ‘we never argue’, and I can’t recall a single one who has said that to me and stayed together….go figure.
My experiences of workplaces are shot through with this argument dilemma too. In work you often see frustrations brushed under the carpet, and snide remarks behind other people’s backs. People are great at avoiding conflict, and I think it’s hugely damaging to us.
It’s not OK to disagree, it’s essential. And it’s how you do it that matters. So the next time you disagree, take a deep breath and do it face to face.
Open Respectful Disagreement – it works, trust me 😉