Bounced

Our trampoline has seen better days so we thought we would spruce it up a bit and splash out on a new pad to go round the edge, and a new enclosure and pole pads. These last two items are particularly helpful when it comes to retaining enthusiastic jumpers within the trampoline environment, i.e, it stops folk from falling off.

On 20th June 2012 I called up Outdoor Toys Direct, the company we bought the trampoline from in Spring (ho ho!) 2008 and was a little surprised to find the replacement costs of the new parts came to £130, compared to an original purchase price of just under £200 for the whole kit and kaboodle. I didn’t really want another trampoline cluttering up the place so I bit the bullet and ordered the spares. Here’s a summary of what happened next:

Money taken from account, email confirmation arrives

25th June: Pad and enclosure delivered minus pole pads

26th June: Called and asked for pole pads, more emails arrived confirming extra pads ordered

28th June: Pole pads arrived, not enough sent. Delivery driver won gold medal for unhelpfulness

28th June: Called and asked for more pole pads, more emails arrived confirming extra pads ordered

3rd July: Pole pads arrived

Finally, all the raw ingredients are here now we can revamp the tramp! New pad goes round the outside edge of the trampoline, nicely does it. Pole pads go on, nicely does it. We get the enclosure out, it’s the wrong size 🙁

4th July: Called and asked for correct size enclosure. Staggeringly I’ve remained polite throughout despite all the cock ups and a distinct whiff of indifference every time I call. On this last call I explained that I’d really like to get this trampoline in shape before the weekend when 15 kids are gonna rock up and want to play on it.

5th July: Email arrives confirming correct size enclosure ordered, it looks like the final piece of the puzzle may just arrive in time…

6th July: Email arrives confirming my money has been refunded.

I’m guessing that Outdoor Toys Direct have given up. Maybe they can’t source the part we need? Maybe they just can’t be arsed any more? Who knows? I certainly don’t know because they’ve not told me anything. I’d love to see the employee handbook for this place, I bet the Customer Service pages are blank, or perhaps they show a flow chart ending with the company sticking two fingers up to their customers? And if this is how they treat their customers, I hate to think about how they treat their staff.

Dealing with this company is exhausting, I’m way too tired to write a song about it. But if I could rap (which thankfully for you I can’t), I’d probably rap something like this:

I ordered some spares for our trampoline, The fuss came next like a ruptured spleen

I called many times (how many?) Umpteen, Hanging on the phone I need my caffeine

I just wanna cover made of polypropylene, The pads are blue in colour not aquamarine

By the time they arrive my kid’ll be a teen, Wearing make up ‘n’ stuff made of nitrosamine

I just want to revamp my trampoline……word.

I know, it’s just a trampoline, what’s all the fuss about? Part of me agrees, and part of me thinks that companies like this rely on silent disgruntlement to keep them in business. If it takes a bit of jumping up and down occasionally (sorry!), then so be it.