Doug Shaw

ConnectingHR – Encouragement Rocks

So what would make someone pull out a guitar and try singing a song he’d never played or sung before, written just an hour or two earlier? Did someone say stupidity? Seriously folks – the answer is simple (not stupid). The answer is encouragement.

I was privileged to get myself down to the latest ConnectingHR tweetup last Monday. There was a great party atmosphere and I enjoyed catching up with some familiar faces and was excited to meet new people too.

I tried putting off the inevitability of leaving I was enjoying myself so much, but Southern Trains waits for no man. On went my coat, I picked up my guitar bag and went to leave. “Surely you’re not going without a song for us?”. And the next thing I was surfing a wave of encouragement and massacring a version of Johnny Cash’s 25 minutes to go, rewritten for the HR community.

Encouragement is very powerful stuff. When I get together with folks in the ConnectingHR community I get a sense of a great movement being co-created. It’s fun, inspiring and I believe this community is really starting to help folks to make work better. Who would have thought that HR could be such great fun? Brilliant!

Thanks to Julia Davies for holding and shaking the words. Thanks to Martin Couzins for shooting the vid. There are some great pics from the evening on his blog too.

Taken to the Cleaners

As some of you know, occasionally news reaches us of customer service tales so woeful we feel obliged to write a song about it. Previously we scribbled a tune for Darren about his shocking BT broadband experience. The BT customer service people appreciated the chance to get involved and help out. Shame their CEO didn’t feel quite the same way. Contrast this with a problem another friend had with Barclaycard. When we put them to the sword, I mean wrote a little song about them, they entered into the spirit of things. We had some friendly exchanges and they fixed the customer problem quickly.

Fast forward to the end of January 2011 and a new problem presents itself. Over on our LinkedIn group, David Shanks has been experiencing poor service and bad management at the hands of Johnson’s Dry Cleaners. In frustration he shared his tale which lead to all kinds of song suggestions plus another sorry Johnson’s tale courtesy of Gary Franklin. We couldn’t resist.

This one is for David, for Gary, and Johnson’s too, if they are listening?

Lyrics:

He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries

Dave took his trousers in for readjustment
A service Johnsons offers should be fine
But on return he swears he couldn’t see the difference
And he knows his eyes are fine, not going blind

He coughed up the dough for a second time
He’s easy going didn’t wanna cause a fuss
Then turns out the sales director had told the local branch
Don’t give ‘em back until he pays, he’d had enough

He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries

His trouser legs ain’t adjustable
And his mood is now combustible

I know another who has suffered a similar fate
Suits muddled, items lost the list it grows
They even put a permanent crease in the wrong place
Which way round go Gary’s trousers no one knows

So Johnsons if you’re there please get in touch
We’re sure you didn’t mean to do us wrong
All we want is for our garments to be right size and shape
And maybe then we’ll stop singing our song

We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
Our trouser legs are now all the wrong size
We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to our cries

Zombie HR

Photo c/o juco

It’s weird. As the HR blogosphere expands with a rush of intelligence, creativity and sensitivity provided by Alison Chisnell and Onatrainagain, among many others, so the more established online HR press seems to be…zombifying. A few days ago @TheHRD drew my attention to this unimaginitive offering on the People Management site about anagrams in HR. This kind of salami wore junk (you figure it out) does nothing to enhance the journo reputation of HR in the online world. I let it pass. Just a blip.

Earlier this week on the HR Magazine website I read about Vance Kearney saying we should ban words like cuts and recession, because they are boring and negative. I’m all for optimism but suggesting we ban words because we don’t like what they mean? I’m not in favour of banning things, of trying to control things by stamping them out. There are better ways to encourage people towards a more purposeful motivating way of working, and banning stuff isn’t one of them. Sticking your fingers in your ears and going la la laaa probably works better.

The next day delivers more pearls of wisdom. This time, under the headline “There’s only one thing worse than an idiot and that’s an engaged and motivated idiot” Kearney knocks engagement, saying it needs more rigour. I don’t agree. For me encouraging a state of engagement is about less rigour not more. Next up we’re recommended to hire people with the biggest brains we can find (I wish he had said so we can feast on them – but he didn’t). There’s more. Apparently, “The world of work has changed. But people still want the same things, they want fascinating work, intelligent colleagues and to play on a team. But the context has changed.” How? No explanation is offered. And then I read evidence of the existence of zombie HR. Kearney goes on to state, “I like employees to be engaged and motivated. I like them to be dead and not dead. I don’t think anyone’s ever tested it.” What!!?? Dead and not dead? True zombie HR! I tweeted about this earlier and @FlipChartFT suggested that the benefit of dead, or zombie employees, may be that they don’t qualify for minimum wage. That may well be the case but honestly, I have no idea what Vance Kearney is on about. Poor reporting at best. See me after school.

I hope this recent slip into zombie HR is short lived. Have you seen any other zombies shuffling about lately?

Neeeeed fresh braaaaiiinnnss!