Unmarketing

Oh dear. Yesterday I received a sales pitch via LinkedIn. It was sent to me by someone I met once for half an hour in the Starbucks at Paddington Station. It’s called ‘Win contracts and influence people?’ and I think it sucks so badly I wanted to share it with you as an example of how not to win contracts and influence people.

It starts, ‘Hi!’ Wow – an exclamation mark after the greeting. That’s so much more personal than, oh I don’t know…my name perhaps?

It goes on:

‘I hope you are very well.

We are introducing our new programme for 2012 and we are offering 3 of these workshops to companies we have a special relationship with at a reduced, introductory rate. Of course, I thought of you and, particularly, the people in your business.’

Awwww thanks, that’s so sincere.

There follows another 500 words of guff before building to the ‘offer’. Normally this workshop would cost £8,000 plus VAT and venue hire, for me and up to 8 colleagues. I can have it for just £6,900. Lucky me! (Did you see what I did there with the exclamation mark – maybe I was too hasty earlier?).

I wish I was making this up. #marketing #fail

Author: Doug Shaw

Artist and Consultant. Embracing uncertainty, sketching myself into existence. Helping people do things differently, through an artistic lens.

18 thoughts on “Unmarketing”

  1. I regularly get calls like this inviting me to exclusive forums where I will have 1:1’s with CEO’s etc. When I ask them why they have picked me for this matching process, they never know what I do. But, it must work at some level, otherwise people would not do it?

    1. Sadly Peter I think you are right, at some level it must work. I know someone who was persuaded to part with several thousands of pounds to attend such an event and over two years later, unsurprisingly nothing has come from it. Other than the ‘introducer’ gaining significant income for adding no value.

      I guess if we take this example and if the emailer lands a couple of these workshops then what do they care that I’ve been permanently turned off eh?

      Cheers – Doug

  2. This is an example of terrible marketing with no focus and the stink of spam – but while it is easy to chuch bricks it is much harder to work out what’s good marketing. Using LinkedIn to keep in touch with people is good I think – so that is a tick? Sending out a meaningful e-mail or putting up a LinkedIn post with some considered thoughts is also perefctly acceptable if you know the people you are sending it to and bother with their names.
    It is the same in PR where I hail from (via journalism) – you don’t send out an e-mail to the travel editor of the Times which begins Hi there.
    What do you think – is it OK to e-mail contacts with your thoughts now and then to keep the conversation going – subtle sales message notwithstanding?

    1. Hello Lucy – welcome to this humble abode and thanks for some great stimulating feedback. Stink of spam – love that 🙂

      Using LinkedIn to keep in touch – absolutely that’s a tick, right with you there. In fact the art of keeping in touch is a lovely thing to do. Sure it takes time and effort and I really appreciate getting notes from people that are relevant, and personal, and conversational. And I’m absolutely fine with more general newsletters and stuff like that – providing I’ve asked to receive them.

      Keeping the conversation going is more than OK – it is essential. Trying to flog me stuff, now that’s another story. Thanks Lucy.

  3. Ah, well, I think they SHOULD care that you have turned off, because, in a way you haven’t – you are telling us about it and I suspect your reach as a blogger is much greater than theirs. Before the internet, we could tell a couple of friends about dumb things. Now that has changed. Keep on keepin’ on

  4. Post and pray replaced by source and spray. Not an uncommon tactic. My one thought on this is that like the people who offer to deposit sums of money in your bank account from dead business men, people must go for it or the practice would die out. I’m concerned about this type of consumer, and hope they stop buying. This kind of spam pitch might win quick deals, but has nothing beyond that, and alienates potential customers.
    BTW: I’ll do it for £5k, because I like you.
    Bill

  5. I’m looking through Twitter and LinkedIn trying to find a couple of people I had good conversations with when I read this! Hope I don’t come across as a stalker or a snake oil salesman! (are snake oil salesmen bad?)

    1. Hey Dan – quite the opposite. I can honestly say that you are one of the most considerate and considered correspondents I’ve heard from. Your post #sddt event feedback was the most beautifully constructed and constructive note I’ve received in a long time. Keep up the excellent work 🙂

  6. I totally endorse the views above and yet as you commented Doug people still buy… The approach is anathema to us but is it perhaps valid to a certain buying audience if it works for them? If it works for them do we care? Good post!

    1. Hi David

      I think I do care, and here’s why. If the company selling puts as much ‘effort’ into its course delivery as it does into its highly personalised and targeted email campaign, then I’m concerned that the end product may not be that good. I want people to receive the best service they can, regardless of who they buy from.

      Thanks as always for the time and thought that goes into your comments – I always enjoy hearing from you.

  7. Oh dear ……… some great comments above though.

    So the point of marketing is to make someone feel that they need a particular product / service and get them to buy it.

    So surely this requires a degree of understanding of your market, a soupcon of empathy and a bucketload of personalisation (oh …. and a half-decent proposition).

    There is nothing that ends up in the Deleted Items folder faster than an unpersonalised, irrelevant and boring “fire and forget” (except maybe a 419 scam from Nigeria).

    But hey, look on the bright side. That piece of marketing flotsam generated a great debate and maybe the next time we get such a offer, it will be a little better ….. “every little helps” as a great piece of marketing frequently tells us

    1. splendid language – if the world had a few more soupcons (and if only WordPress had the French twiddly accent bits), it would be a much better place! I’m liking your bright side Chris – thanks

  8. Doug
    The exact same happened to me last week. I met a guy at a networking meeting, had a chat for a few minutes then I got the most hard selling e-mail from him later that day trying to get me to invest some money in property in the Caribbean. I replied to say thank you and pleasure to meet too and added that he may be interested in some feedback – networking is not hard selling. I got another e-mail back from him saying he didn’t think it was hard selling and he knew that networking was about building relationships.
    Like everything – there are those that get it and those that don’t
    Hope to make it up to town on the 19th for the beer & pies.
    Cheers
    Sarah

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