A play for today

Act One

Doug is sat at his desk. He is telephoning Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC) to check his Accounts Office Reference number, how exciting!

HMRC  “Hello this is Bert [names have been changed to protect the innocent] can I take you through security?”

Doug “Yes”

HMRC “What is your accounts office reference number?”

Doug “Ahh, well funny you should ask – that’s what I want to know. I am calling to check that I have that number recorded correctly.”

HMRC “I can’t give you that information over the phone”.

Doug “Why not please?”

HMRC “That’s not how we do it here.”

Doug “OK……so how about I tell you what I think my accounts office reference number is as part of the security questioning and if I pass security, I must’ve got it right?”

HMRC “What is your accounts office reference number?”

Doug “XYZ123blah”

HMRC “Company name?”

Doug “What Goes Around Limited.”

HMRC “Address”….etc etc


HMRC “right, you have passed security.”

And without another word, HMRC puts the phone down.

The end. (at least I hope it is…)

Author: Doug Shaw

Artist and Consultant. Embracing uncertainty, sketching myself into existence. Helping people do things differently, through an artistic lens.

3 thoughts on “A play for today”

  1. I’ve had that before. LOL
    Gave them my new address in security questioning, and guy told me that I didn’t pass. I said the right address almost immediately and explained that I’ve only just moved my house. Unfortunately I was told I have to call AGAIN. I guess there is a reason behind it, but…… Totally messed up bonkers system. 😉

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