I don’t think we ever get over the loss of someone close, it’s more like we just move further away from the moment. I find myself catching thoughts of Mum, often unexpected, always welcome – and she died back in 1984. I find these experiences a very lovely kind of sad, if you know what I mean?
Keira has been missing her Grandpa this week. It started at school on Tuesday when her class were asked to make up a story for the local newspaper. Like most kids, Keira doesn’t read the newspaper that often and the request took her mind back to the articles and obituaries that appeared locally when Dad died earlier this year. Since then she’s had a few wobbly moments and has also decided to make her story about Grandpa, which I think is a neat idea.
I appreciate Keira’s vulnerability as a part of what makes her the complete person Carole and I love so much. Whether we know that vulnerability through the death of someone close or some other reason, we all have it, and I think we’re better for acknowledging it.
Doug, make sure you hug her. I lost my grandfather when I was 8. While I don’t recall much of that time I do know from subsequent conversations with my Mother that it was sometime before I really started processing the event in my mind and forging a life without my grandfather. Before that I had internalised things that only showed to those who knew me well.
This not to say that I was untouched at the time of his death, but more that I had no life experience to use in handling it. I am sure she is a lady to be proud of and is much loved, just give her the time and support she needs now and the world will be a richer place.
Thanks Ian – mission accomplished.
Doug,
What a lovely reminder of our human-ness. I like your comment about moving further away from the moment. I hope she never loses her vulnerability, its one of the bits about us that make us richer as people. I feel the loss of my Dad every single day and relive memories of him every single day. I hope she can do that and am sure she does with the help of her supportive parents.
Thanks for your lovely comment Sharon. I hope Keira won’t lose her vulnerability – and I think it’s something people in general are becoming more comfortable with, thumbs up to that. It’s good to keep memories alive I agree wholeheartedly. Sorry for your loss.