I went into a branch of ‘the world’s local bank’ today to enquire about depositing some funds. I explained I wanted to pay in a cheque and that I had all my UK ( I really stressed that bit) bank account details and the relevant international information too. I was told this would be ‘no problem’ so I went on my way, planning to drop into another branch nearer my apartment later.

On arrival at my closest branch I was met with a more frosty reception altogether. I say frosty, it felt more like ‘I couldn’t give a shit, I’m not going to help you please go away’. They couldn’t access my details at this branch so I was sent to the main branch on 5th Avenue. The 5th Avenue branch is a grand place – fitting of an international bank, but they were as unhelpful as their neighbours. I double checked, ‘You are the world’s local bank?’ I asked. ‘Yes sir, we are’ came the reply. ‘But I can’t deposit this US cheque into my account?’ ‘No, you can’t’.

I clearly misunderstood what the term ‘world’s local bank’ meant and left, feeling bewildered. On the way out I took a photo of the sign in reception. Admittedly it’s a poor picture, but can you see that word in the top left corner?

World's local bank