Although I had the pleasure of meeting Wallace and Gromit at TEDxGranta earlier this year, sadly this is not a post about them.
Nope, it’s another post about my good buddies at Johnson Cleaners. Remember the song? Remember the spam? Well I’ve continued to try and unsubscribe from the Johnson email machine and when that failed I tried to engage with Johnson’s on Twitter, all to no avail.
So today I’ve given up the social ghost and I’ve written an old fashioned paper letter to the MD of Johnson Cleaners.
You can read a copy of the letter here if you would like, and I will keep you posted with any reply, or lack of.
Many moons ago I used to be a customer of Johnsons Dry Cleaners but their service wasn’t great, and then they famously mucked two of my friends around something rotten. I wrote a song and blog about this and my friends shared it with Johnsons and they chose (as is their right of course) to ignore the song and my friends requests for help. And I chose to unsubscribe and take my business elsewhere. Since the song went online I’ve had a steady stream of visitors to my site searching for things like ‘Johnsons poor customer service’, but aside from that, peace has reigned for some time and all has been well.
Earlier this week, this arrived in my inbox.
At the top of this email it says: ‘At Johnsons we never send out unsolicited e-mail communications’
I didn’t ask for this email – it is therefore unsolicited. I admire Johnsons seemingly persistent ability to do dumb things to customers. And I guess I should thank them too. Why? Well I figured they’ve given me a reason to bring their song around one more time.
As some of you know, occasionally news reaches us of customer service tales so woeful we feel obliged to write a song about it. Previously we scribbled a tune for Darren about his shocking BT broadband experience. The BT customer service people appreciated the chance to get involved and help out. Shame their CEO didn’t feel quite the same way. Contrast this with a problem another friend had with Barclaycard. When we put them to the sword, I mean wrote a little song about them, they entered into the spirit of things. We had some friendly exchanges and they fixed the customer problem quickly.
Fast forward to the end of January 2011 and a new problem presents itself. Over on our LinkedIn group, David Shanks has been experiencing poor service and bad management at the hands of Johnson’s Dry Cleaners. In frustration he shared his tale which lead to all kinds of song suggestions plus another sorry Johnson’s tale courtesy of Gary Franklin. We couldn’t resist.
This one is for David, for Gary, and Johnson’s too, if they are listening?
Lyrics:
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries
Dave took his trousers in for readjustment
A service Johnsons offers should be fine
But on return he swears he couldn’t see the difference
And he knows his eyes are fine, not going blind
He coughed up the dough for a second time
He’s easy going didn’t wanna cause a fuss
Then turns out the sales director had told the local branch
Don’t give ‘em back until he pays, he’d had enough
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
His trouser legs are now all the wrong size
He was taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to his cries
His trouser legs ain’t adjustable
And his mood is now combustible
I know another who has suffered a similar fate
Suits muddled, items lost the list it grows
They even put a permanent crease in the wrong place
Which way round go Gary’s trousers no one knows
So Johnsons if you’re there please get in touch
We’re sure you didn’t mean to do us wrong
All we want is for our garments to be right size and shape
And maybe then we’ll stop singing our song
We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
Our trouser legs are now all the wrong size
We were taken to the cleaners by Johnsons
And now they aren’t listening to our cries
