Crap Engagement – a song about work

This is a version of Crap Engagement, first performed live last week at the ConnectingHR unconference. Lyrics by Neil Usher, arranged and performed by Doug Shaw. Original music by Paul Weller. Hope you like it. The photo above was taken by Callum Saunders at the May ConnectingHR Unconference, thanks Callum.

Wrong kind of leaves and I’m two hours late
The interviewer thinks I’m the next candidate
He ends in tears, got personal issues
I get the job because I’m carrying tissues
That’s crap recruitment, that’s crap recruitment……

First day and they forget I’m arriving
It’s like a juggernaut with no-one driving
A mass walkout ‘cause the boss is a nazi
I get promoted ‘cause I was in the khasi
That’s crap engagement, that’s crap engagement…..

Log on by eleven but they block social media
They think Twitter’s just for Justin Bieber
Cant get a smartphone or a tablet PC
They say they’re part of the liberal conspiracy….
That’s crap equipment, that’s crap equipment,….

Their take on modern flexible culture
Is circling over your head like a vulture
They tried mobility but that was a failure
Half the staff went to work in Australia
That’s crap enslavement, that’s crap enslavement…..

Waking up from bad dreams in foetal position
Ignore the whispers and stares of suspicion
I get an e-mail saying I’ve failed probation
Here’s a box to pack your humiliation
That’s crap termination, that’s crap termination…..

Two worlds passing like ships at midnight
Concluded I’ve been missing the solitude
I’ll keep trying till I find what’s right (for me)
And in the meantime make Jam and write poetry….
Crap entertainment, crap entertainment….