Engagement – Page 14 – The Consulting Artist

Spaces in Your Togetherness

Carole and I will have been married for twenty years come July 18th 2012. Having got this close to the milestone we threw caution to the wind and celebrated a little early, this weekend just past.

We are fortunate to know many lovely people and a lot of them joined us in our celebration. The rain stayed away pretty much all day, which is increasingly a rarity in this year’s British Summer, Marks and Spencer came up trumps with the buffet, and I’m pretty sure everyone had a good time. Put it this way, no one has written me a song to complain about it…yet.

I can recall a few snippets of conversation from the party and I’ll use some of these as sparks for blog posts in the coming few days. The first was provided to me by Andy Foulds. Andy was telling me about a reading he’d heard at an event which included a quote from Khalil Gibran. In particular Andy recounted the line ‘Let there be spaces in your togetherness’ (you can read the full piece here), and we talked a little about the quote in the context of personal relationships. Spaces in your togetherness aren’t the only thing that make a relationship interesting and useful, indeed if the spaces become too big, there may well be no relationship left. But they help, a lot. And they’re just as useful in a work context.

When I worked in BT, I satisfied the need for spaces in the togetherness by sitting and working with different teams. Observing different methods, picking up new ideas, shaking off dull old ones. And now my work takes me all over the place, to different locations and with different people, I enjoy the vitality that comes from those spaces almost without thinking about it. And yet there are times when I need the togetherness too. That’s why I feel fortunate to have worked with a number of associates this year, their critical feedback is something you don’t always get from a client.

I hope you can find some space in your togetherness this week.

photo credit

Don’t Make Me Laugh

Last week I attended a laughter workshop (no sniggering at the back please). I went because it was hosted by Berghind Joseph, hosts of last years excellent, fun and learning packed David Zinger session, I enjoy a good laugh, and I am curious.

During my time with BT, one of the questions I was repeatedly asked by bamboozled and often miserable colleagues was, ‘how do you manage to have so much fun at work?’ I was never entirely sure how to respond to this question. I simply chose, for the most part, to enjoy what I was doing, and I’ve never underestimated the power of a smile.

So what did I learn from the session?

Kids laugh approximately 400 times a day, adults about 15 times

OK this is a sweeping generalisation, and I’m sure there are kids picking their way through rubbish piles in Cambodia, Peru and other places for whom even the average adult figure is a distant, seemingly unreachable goal, but this stat just left me thinking, cheer up you miserable gits!

The physiological benefits of laughter work even when the laughter is forced

You can basically fool the body, even if you can’t fool the brain. This made me shudder a little, even though we were told that some forms of yoga and other exercise use forced laughter to improve our physiology. A big thing about laughter is its spontaneity, surely? Apparently not, but as we were invited to force a laugh, I felt a little creeped out. We were informed about circulation benefits which I agree are physical, but all the stuff about endorphins releasing to aid the immune system and pain relief, engaging both sides of the brain to release stress…well that’s all brain stuff, right? And I found the use of an old fashioned car horn as a means to grab our attention somewhat clown like. I don’t like clowns, do you?

Laughter leads to longevity

Laughter helps us build better, stronger, longer relationships. I thought of my darling Carole who has tolerated me as her husband for nigh on twenty years now. She laughs at me a lot, so I guess there’s something in this 😉 I have two friends, Adrian and Curly, who I’ve known for years and years and years, and it’s true that whenever we see each other it’s not long before tears of laughter are rolling.

I left the workshop feeling good about Berghind Joseph for putting on another challenging event, and perhaps a little relieved that I’d reacted in the way I had. Yes a happy workplace is a better workplace, and for me it has to come naturally. How about you – got any good jokes?

photo credit

Own it, Dump it, Be it.

There’s already a load of great content coming out of yesterday’s Stop Doing Dumb Things unconference here, courtesy of Martin Couzins.

Here are three things that have popped into my head and onto the blog, as a result of my observations since yesterday:

1. Take Responsibility and dooooo something

Yeah I know – we need leaders to lead, and if only they did this and that everything would all be so much cooler than it is now. Stop waiting for your leaders to get their shit together and lead yourself. You can remember how to do stuff, right?

2. Dump Barclays

Neil Jervis wondered if the status quo would only change when customers desert a company in droves. Well here we are one day on from the unconference and Barclays Bank has handed you a reason to leave them, on a plate. They’ve been screwing their customers through manipulation of interest rates for years. So don’t bank with them anymore. There are better financial institutions out there. Show Barclays and others that you give a damn, and dump them, now!

3. Being human matters

Time and time again, we came back to how important it is to be treated with a little respect. To be listened to, to know your colleagues at least a little way beyond their employee ident number. The most powerful take away for me from a day like yesterday is simply high quality, human interaction. Fun, frustration, smiles, humility, just being human.

If you were at the unconference – what might you add to the list? And if you weren’t, what’s on your mind right now? Fancy sharing it?