Tag: Learning

Letting Go

Saturday morning. “Keira, you need to do your homework”. “Awww, not now, I’m watching a new episode of Wizards of Waverley Place”. We could have nagged Keira to do the work, and we didn’t. And she (and I) forgot…

Monday night. An hour after going to bed we’ve begun to relax into a quiet evening then the next thing, Keira is back downstairs dissolving in tears. She has remembered that the homework has not been done and is terrified at the thought of her name going on the board tomorrow (for someone who enjoys trying hard and keeping on the right side of the school tracks this is a biiiig deal). And from where I’m sitting, the Wizards of Waverley Place ain’t gonna be much help now. I knew that damn time freeze spell was duff.

I asked Keira to have a seat so we could chat about the problem. And as we talked – it turned out she could see the problem wasn’t so big after all. Keira reckoned:

  • She could probably get an extra day to complete her homework
  • There is a good chance that teacher can be persuaded not to write Keira’s name on the board
  • Next time the wizards may just have to wait a while.

And so to bed. Calmer now, and a lesson thought through and realised by Keira.

As a parent it is difficult not to intervene, to steer and direct the course. And I’m learning to let go, sometimes.

As an HR and communications consultant and practitioner I often see people in the workplace being nagged about stuff, and being subjected to the humiliation of “I told you so”. Maybe we should try and stop “telling you so”. The chances are we already know so, and though we may not show it in the same way Keira did, we’re feeling bad enough already without further reminder. It’s not exactly a motivating way to deal with a problem is it? The next time you see someone fluff their lines, miss a deadline, or drop a clanger, why not offer them a seat and just talk it through. They might just appreciate the chance to talk.

Dreams of Children

Bring Your Children to Work Day

“50 per cent of people here lose their hair”

That was just one of many very funny observations made in the Bring Your Children to Work Day board meeting yesterday! So how did it go? Here is a summary of the board discussion – where all the kids were invited to address the question “How do we make work more interesting?”

  • Succeeding
  • Having fun with colleagues
  • Seeing new people
  • Lunch
  • Payday
  • Interaction
  • Learning new things
  • Making new friends

That could be a great charter for any business eh? It’s a powerful list.

The kids were great fun. They let me know when they were bored and wanted to move on (love the honesty), and did a great job of participating and supporting one another.

Everyone made desk stands for all the mums and dads with their names, a picture and a description of what they do drawn on them*. We had a fund manager meeting and developed a new investment portfolio, and spent time on marketing and revamping some brand values too. We had a good fun trip out to observe some local history, and toured the building which gave the kids a great opportunity to showcase their work.

investment strategy
investment strategy
brand values
brand values

Several of you gave me some great tips either here on the blog and on Twitter and LinkedIn too. Thanks for helping co-create such a fun and useful day. The serious business of fun!

*On my desk stand Keira wrote “he makes work better”. I think I’ve found a new marketing director, what a slogan!

desk stand
Doug makes work better

Happy Mother’s Day: I Still Miss Someone

a rare photo of me and mum together
Mum and me, out for a drive 😀 

14th October 1985, the phone rings. “Hello son, this is dad. We’re going to hospital; it looks like this is it, do you want to come?” I declined. I couldn’t face going to see my mum die. She was cremated ten days later and I turned 20 four more days after that.

Suddenly you were gone, and all the lives you left a mark upon.

For me Mother’s day is a Jekyll and Hyde affair. I love it because of the excitement and joy that Keira Carole and I share as a family. Carole is a wonderful mum and Keira and I enjoy letting her know. Not just on Mother’s day – Keira often leaves messages and drawings and little love notes around the place – and I try to remember to tell Carole often that I think she’s a top mum too. Equally I find the day a sad one because for me – time is not a great healer. It merely puts greater distance between me and that very sad and painful day.

Of course I would dearly love to have enjoyed my mum’s support and generosity and love for longer, who wouldn’t? And shit happens and we have to deal with it. I take huge comfort from the fact that I spent very nearly nineteen fabulous years learning from mum. She taught me many useful things, among the very best of which are:

  • Be yourself
  • Get on with it
  • Be kind to yourself and others
  • Make mistakes and learn from them

I’m driven to live these things and I love it.

Thanks mum

photo c/o my dad