Mum died just a few days before my 19th birthday, over 30 years ago now, and I’m sitting here in a quiet house reflecting on how fortunate I am to be my mother’s son. A strong character, mum taught me to be curious, to question authority – and though that notion inevitably gets me into a few scrapes, I do believe it is something wonderful, and something we could probably do with a bit more of in the world too. As each mother’s day rolls by, I have strong mixed feelings about love and loss, as I expect do most people who’ve lost their mum. Today – love comes out on top. Thanks mum – I’m truly grateful.
Happy Mother’s Day
Like all proud dads I think my daughter is the best. As Keira grows and becomes more and more her own person, the mother’s love Carole has for Keira radiates through our daughter and is reflected in Keira’s kind, funny and smart personality. It’s a lovely thing to see – these things they have in common. Carole is currently sleeping, safe in the knowledge that she will be made a fuss of today. We do nice things for each other in this family on random everyday days too, but a day like this is a great time to stop and be thankful, so we shall be.
14th October 1985, the phone rings. “Hello son, this is dad. We’re going to hospital; it looks like this is it, do you want to come?” I declined. I couldn’t face going to see my mum die. She was cremated ten days later and I turned 20 four more days after that.
Suddenly you were gone, and all the lives you left a mark upon.
For me Mother’s day is a Jekyll and Hyde affair. I love it because of the excitement and joy that Keira Carole and I share as a family. Carole is a wonderful mum and Keira and I enjoy letting her know. Not just on Mother’s day – Keira often leaves messages and drawings and little love notes around the place – and I try to remember to tell Carole often that I think she’s a top mum too. Equally I find the day a sad one because for me – time is not a great healer. It merely puts greater distance between me and that very sad and painful day.
Of course I would dearly love to have enjoyed my mum’s support and generosity and love for longer, who wouldn’t? And shit happens and we have to deal with it. I take huge comfort from the fact that I spent very nearly nineteen fabulous years learning from mum. She taught me many useful things, among the very best of which are: